A few days ago a friend of mine, who's also a fellow blogger, posted a blog about the reality of being stalked, especially online. It's not something that we think about often, but it is so very real.
After reading her post and having a conversation with her, I realized what my next blog post should be about. It's something that I've been thinking about for a long time, but this finally brought it to fruition. No, it's not about stalking, but if taken to the next level, it could turn into stalking.
Let me first start by saying that we are all individuals that have been created by the same amazing God. But God did not create us to be completely the same. He gave each of us different strengths and weaknesses, different callings and gifts. While we are all the same, we are also all very different...and yet some how, we are still called to be the body of Christ -- one body, many branches. But so often we decide to mimic other people, whether it be a friend, family member, or actress/actor. We tend to try and duplicate the lives and ways of the people we admire the most, when in reality, it's not just admiration that drives us...it's jealousy, emotions, and the thought that the grass is greener on the other side. It's not healthy, at all. We lose our individualism, and ultimately disappoint ourselves and others over and over again. Not to mention, it's kind of creepy.
Now, we'll start getting personal. I find it increasingly hard for me to write blogs without stopping and thinking about how I might portray myself. I will say that I have had my fair share of "posers" over the past few years of writing this A Godly Marriage blog as well as my Boogers and Jesus blog. I have had people (even those that I know personally) say to me "I want to have the life you have, the marriage you have, the children you have....I wish I could be like you." Literally, I have had 3 people say that to me in the past year, and while I loved all three unconditionally, it completely saddened my heart. The sad fact is that if you were to simply live your life and count your own blessings instead of other people's blessings, your life would be so much easier...you might even actually begin living your life to please God instead of trying to duplicate someone else's life in hopes that your life might be the same as theirs. God's life for you is so much better. But not only do you have to think about yourself, you also have to think about how it affects your spouse. It's especially hard on your spouse, because eventually, this obsession will spill over into your marriage and your expectations of them will become far more like a fairy tale than reality.
Another fact...which isn't rocket science...my life isn't perfect. If you only knew the things I've done, the things I've said, the things I still do wrong. I'm a sinner just like you. And, guess what, my husband and I have arguments....*gasp*!! Imagine that! There are even some days when he doesn't call me while he's at work because he's mad at me, and some days when I snap at him every 5 minutes so he just shuts his pie hole. But we've learned, through prayer and allowing Christ to change our hearts, how to talk through arguments, and how to make sure they don't go any further than they should. Another news flash, I'm not perfect. Please, do not put me on a pedestal, because I certainly do not put myself on one. If anything, I am brutally honest about myself, especially on my Boogers and Jesus blog. I have failed, and I fail daily. Just yesterday I yelled loudly at my child, on purpose. Yes, I felt horrible about it, my heart sank, but what's even worse is that I deliberately did it because I was completely overwhelmed and stressed as a mom. Yes, even if your job is just being a mommy, there are bad days! I did sit him down and ask him for forgiveness, but that doesn't make what I did right. Not only is it hard being a mommy, but it's hard being a toddler. I live in a broken world, as a broken person, raising a fragile little soul. I make mistakes, big ones. So please, please, don't think that when I write about things that it means they are things I haven't done or don't deal with. I'm just like you, I just choose to focus on the outcome and the positive, the purpose and the reason. And please, don't wish for a life like mine, because the life that God has planned for you is far better for you than the one He has for me.
This doesn't mean that you can't learn from other people's lives, I have certainly learned from other people through out my life and will continue to do so. This also doesn't mean that having common interests and theories is bad, not at all. But if you find yourself mimicking someones life so intensely, right down to doing the same things they put on facebook the night before, getting the same pair of glasses that they have, the same hairstyle, or find yourself trying to "out do" them all of the time, it might be time to take a step back and reevaluate yourself. You have placed this person in a higher position than God, and that is a dangerous road, my friend. A road full of disappointment, heartache, ridiculous expectations and bitterness.
Our God is a creator, not a duplicator. You were only created to mimic one person's life, and that is Jesus Christ. We're not called to duplicate the lives of other Christians; we're called to live a life like Christ. We're not called to have a perfect marriage, we're called to serve our spouse with an overabundance of grace and mercy. Jesus is the only person who walked this earth without sin, without making mistakes, without pride or shame. And the only time He's jealous is when you are too busy focusing on everything other than Him, which includes placing His plan for your life on the back burner simply because you're too worried about what you look like to others, and you disregard the perfect plan He has for you. Have you ever wondered that maybe your life is so complicated because you don't allow the Creator of the universe to share His heart with you?
Every day is a new day, and His grace is new every morning. Forget the past, focus on the future. Others will bring up your past mistakes, let them, and then tell them all that you've learned from them. I encourage you to lay down your desires, your busy mind, and your desire to be someone you aren't. I encourage you, even just for a day, to lay all of these things aside and simply search God's heart for what He longs to tell you, to show you. And even if that means allowing Him to hold you in His arms for just a little while with out saying a word, so be it. Because one touch from our Heavenly Father is worth far more than any tv show or work project -- there is healing, hope, love and kindness. His love and word is like a warm salve to our souls.
I hope that you realize just how special you are -- how beautiful you are. There is no need for you to try and duplicate someone else's life, because you are amazing all on your own. God didn't make any mistakes when He created you, He knew you before you even started trying to find yourself. You're going to fail, you're going to fall, you're going to make mistakes, your life will never be perfect, but you have a perfect God who welcomes you with open arms -- don't let "keeping up with the Jones's", be it personally or in your marriage, ruin the blessings that He has for you!!